What Does It Mean To Be Enough?
When looking back on five years worth of blogs, there are just a few that still feel important for me to read over and over for myself. I think this one especially is worth revisiting. I changed the name because it applies to everyone.
What does it mean to “be enough?" How does it feel to “be enough?” How will we know when we have reached that blissful state of “enoughness?”
These questions have been churning in my brain consciously for years, and probably subconsciously all my life. Well, I have been pondering on it long enough. I have some ideas that might help sort it out.
To say, “I am enough” is a very different statement than, “I have enough.” We can quantify “having enough:” there is enough food, shelter, or whatever it is that is required. “Being enough” is a bit more allusive. It is a state of mind. To be willing to say, “I am enough” and truly believe it, even for an instant, allows for a feeling of inner spaciousness; a peaceful expansion of consciousness.
I could easily tell you at this point to do twenty affirmations everyday saying, “I am enough,” and eventually you will feel better. This absolutely can be an effective practice. I use it myself but I want to introduce another idea.
A few weeks ago, I had a conversation and the person said to me, “I am sad because I am not enough.” Usually I might have said something like, “Of course you are enough. Look at all the people you have helped and influenced over your lifetime.” There are a lot of dismissive remarks I could have made. This time however, what shot out of my mouth was, “You are right! You are not enough and you never will be, so get over it!” I felt kind of shocked when it spilled out of me, but I realized the truth of the statement immediately. How can any of us ever be “enough” when the To Do List is infinite? How can we be enough when we feel "less than" due to blindness, deafness, or a thousand other physical conditions, or when the size of our pants aren’t the size we have decided is the perfect one? How can we ever be enough when we measure ourselves bya super hero we have conjured up in our own minds? How can we be enough when the mark moves up as soon as we reach it?
We can’t! There is no way! Therefore, to be sad about not being enough means you will be sad about it the rest of your life. That does not work for me.
The way I see it is I can either drop the thought, “I am not enough” and even drop the thought “I am enough.” They really are not useful because a measurement is inherent in both statements. I propose we drop them both. Can you imagine that? You never have to be enough again and you never will feel sad again because you are not enough. “Being enough” is no longer a measurement that applies to us.
How does that feel?
For me, a whole world of guilt-free possibilities just opened up. So much inner space can be created if we get over “being enough." Let it go and observe how you feel. Take it in and you might breathe easier.